Frustration
and resultant anger are often a result of an unfulfilled expectation due to some
kind of resistance. This resistance can be named an obstacle, road block, change
in terms, and such. But it isn't resistance in the external, it is resistance in
ourselves I think. I'll explain what I mean.
About
ten years ago I was handed a short book called, Power To Praise by
Merlin R Carothers. It was published in the late 1970's and he was famous back
then for his Prison To Praise books helping inmates create entirely new
attitudes about life. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. The premise
is that God created everything, and we should praise God for everything. So
rather than being upset, angry, depressed, we instead praise God and be thankful
for the event, obstacle, circumstance, etc.
That's
a lofty goal for the average human being, including my self. However, I was so
intrigued by this whole concept that I began using it with amazing results in my
outlook and attitude about events, especially those that seemed painful, unfair,
haphazard, and more. The pleasing or happy events were easy to praise about, but
the other ones which seemed to happen more often required courage, trust and a
general releasing of my idea of control. Of course, you can probably relate that
that last part of the sentence about letting go of control is the biggest
challenge for humans in my experience.
So
I began practicing this whole idea, and frankly, in looking back, I see what a
dramatic impact this one book has had on my outlook and has helped me to respond
rather than react and praise instead of complain. The key to that last sentence
is practicing. I haven't yet perfected it; however, I am significantly closer
than ever before.
Now
if I react rather than respond, it doesn't last very long because I am reminded
and aware of what I am doing. This allows me to as quickly as I can realize what
is happening, turn my thinking around.
Anthony
Robbins helped me here as well with some great questions to ask. One is, "what's
right about this situation?" He says that if that's too big a leap, to soften it
with, "if something could be right about this, what might it be?" This is the
exact opposite of what we normally do by trying to find out what's wrong. He
says to ask what is right. That's wonderfully close to praising.
So,
to keep this short, when you find obstacles in your way, realize that it is not
the situation but your reaction or interpretation of the event that is the real
problem. Next, consider what is right about this situation, or what might be
right about it. Next, if you can be so bold as to really and truly believe,
praise God for this event and release your resistance and allow the blessing
that comes in the event to be exposed and realized.
I
guarantee this idea practiced will change your life as much as it has
mine.
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