I must
realize with all truthfulness that all my anxieties and worry is not based in,
nor has it ever been based in reality, but fantasy of potential reality, most of
which, did not, nor has ever occurred. I say most of which, because some of it
has come about, and most likely by focusing on what I was thinking about. Julius
Caesar is noted as saying it well by saying, "as a rule, what is out of sight
disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see." That has certainly been
the case with me.
As
I've grown aware and honest about these fantasies, I have given more and more
effort toward a more positive outlook on the potential future, but my focus on
the current reality has not been of much help. Indeed, sometimes it was as
Joseph Joubert said, "when one has too great a dread of what is impending, one
feels some relief when the trouble has come." As much as I stated to myself and
the world, I drew much toward me while claiming innocence all the
way.
We
all probably have troubles, though mostly I see my own, yet I also know from
study that this attention to troubles is a direct violation of my new awareness.
Maybe my Zen is slipping from time to time. I'm working on that. . .
One
of my favorite authors and philosphers says exactly what I need to
do:
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