"Just because a marriage (or anything) ends,
doesn't mean it failed. Ideally, of course,
we would like a marriage to last a lifetime.
But when it doesn't, we dishonor the relationship
by casting an aura of failure over all of it.
If you loved, learned, and grew during the time
you were together, there was real success."
-- Alan Cohen
"And, they lived happily ever after. . ." Well, some perhaps, but change is more likely to occur. Often that change is to another partner. It is also easy to blame each other, and to feel they failed us or we failed them. How sad that we often have to take that point of view. It is only reality if we accept it as such.
Far better it is, from my own experience and that of my study, to celebrate the time, celebrate the experience, celebrate the learning, celebrate the discovery and celebrate each other. Finding blame is fear-based. Feeling guilty is fear-based. And both are ego-centric. Let go of that rope. Lay it down and move toward loving each other, without the need to live together.
This same strategy and perspective applies to so many other areas of our lives, whether it is our jobs, careers, employers, friends, and even our own communication with ourselves. Although, in these instances, we may not consider them failures as easily as we do in a relationship or a marriage.
Movies, newspapers, and other publications and sites show how people fall into love and out of love. That is all crap as far as I'm concerned. If you love someone, it doesn't change into something other than love unless it is coerced by your ego. It's okay to not want to be around each other all the time, and still love each other. In fact, it is preferred, don't you think?
Celebrate the successes regardless of size or duration. Let all the rest fall away.
"Love Is The Ability And Willingness To Allow Those You Care For To Be What They Choose For Themselves Without Any Insistence That They Satisfy You." -- Wayne Dyer
Spread Some Joy Today--Love doesn't expect. It is a free gift, or it is something else entirely.
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