Though
I've certainly learned that it doesn't have much value, from time to time issues
might create a need to let loose with some complaining. I try to keep it
localized, and after I let loose, it is intended to have me feel better, but it
doesn't. At the same time, I'm not playing with it in my head so long had I kept
it internally. So, even though I don't feel better by complaining aloud to
someone I can do that with, it has some bit of value from time to
time.
What
I've also realized with it. since recently having studied The Power of Now by
Eckhart Tolle is that when I am complaining, I am resisting what is. That is so
interesting because it is obvious that I don't want what is, yet in my
complaining, I am not allowing what is because I am wanting what isn't. It
sounds silly I know, but I get it now. Our resistance of what is has our mind
going into what might be, how bad it might be, what all of the ramifications of
what could possibly be, and . . . you know . . . mind dribble. Once there, we
are powerless and as they used to say, chasing our tail going in circles going
nowhere.
Why
should I accept what is, when what I really want is not that? Because now is
where all my power is. I can only act now. I cannot act in the future. It
reminds me of that quote I think Mark Twain said about having so many fears in
his life, most of which never came true. When the mind takes over, it goes all
over the map, comparing the past to the present to the future and it just gets
messy.
As
Eckhart says, there are no problems in the now. If something is not what I want,
acknowledge it as it is, that it is here and don't give it any more power than
this. Then he says that if there is something you can do about it right now,
then act on that, if there is not, then let it go.
So,
the only reason I would want to complain is because something that now is not
what I want it to be and in my resistance of that, I feel the need to discuss
the potential problems with someone and seek sympathy and understanding of my
plight. But, I am finding in my practice (with occasional side trips), that when
I see what is, and just acknowledge it--that it is there--it is almost as if I
am an observer instead of a participant. This view is much more relaxed and
doesn't change everything into a problem because there are no problems except as
created in the future.
I'm
better now. Back on track. Breathing again. . . And that feels GOOD!
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