"You simply cannot get
to where you want to be
by controlling
or eliminating
the unwanted."
-- Abraham, Esther Hicks
I was reading some bits from some books this morning surrounding the idea that happiness is experiencing what is wanted and unhappiness is what is not wanted.
Abraham shared a little that I have come to understand with joy and it has completely changed all my relationships:
"The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy."
In the movies and as we have learned in many ways, we think that another, and especially in a close relationship can cause us to be happy or unhappy. We may even work hard at trying to see that the other is happy so that we can feel good, and when they are not, we feel bad. But, that is too much to ask of another person. Only I can make myself happy or unhappy. It is a choice. The movies make it seem like it is a stimulus and response, but what it really is would be stimulus and choice.
Then I found this delightful little story from Bashar in the book, Bashar: Blueprint For Change, that adds so much to this discussion:
"It is not so much that experience gives rise to meaning; it is that meaning gives rise to experience. . . All circumstances are neutral. The meaning you choose to believe; the meaning you choose to create in life, about your life, is what generates the particular types of circumstances you experience. These reinforce, reflect and represent the meanings you are creating. Giving meaning is the actual act of creation itself! To give meaning to something is to create it into existence in your particular experiential realm."
"Now, to illustrate this idea, let's say you are on your way to the train station to catch a train. You arrive at the station; the train has just left. That is the neutral situation. There is no meaning in it: you are standing on the platform; the train is moving; you are not on it. Period."
"Now the old you might have had a negative reaction. "Oh gosh, oh darn," you might say. "I have done something wrong. This is very bad; I am now very angry. Those train people! They were too early. I was not late; no, no, no. They were too early. I will now go and complain to someone." All right. Your choice."
"Or again: the new person, the person you now know you have changed into, is going for the train. You arrive at the platform; the train has left. Once again, the neutral situation: you are on the platform; the train is moving; you are not on it. But now you know you are different. You know that everything in your life is there for a positive reason; it does not matter that the symbol is the same. Because you now trust that and do not go stomping off to complain, your anger no longer blinds you to the fact that having just stepped off that train is a friend you haven't seen in ten years. If you had reacted in the old way, walking off in anger, you would not have met her. But you will now discover, in the course of subsequent events, that you did need to meet her at that time, and for positive reasons."
This is not only a great story and illustration, it is telling of how one choice closes off other things, and how as we choose our previous trained reactions, we are blinded by that to the best that could have come from the event. As we allow ourselves to realize that things are happening not at random, but in a chorus supporting our point of view, we will make better choices and have more harmonious outcomes.
The Meaning Is Not Put Upon Us, But The Other Way Around. In That, We Create Our Own Reality.
Spread Some Joy Today--by allowing your life to flow and to find the meaning that creates the best result by your own choosing.
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