"Love is the ability
and willingness
to allow those
that you care for
to be what they choose
for themselves
without any insistence
that they satisfy you."
-- Dr. Wayne Dyer
My Life Lessons
This is a series of revelations about my life that I am sharing with others for what it may be worth. These come from a lifetime of study and experience of others and myself, and I now translate them to words. These will be numbered; however, they are not in order of importance as all are equally important. It is just a way for me to keep track of them in this series. I hope you find value in them.
Life Lesson #12
Unconditional love and the Art of Allowing.
I read the quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer many years ago and it has helped me so much to learn a different and far better way to love others. Most of my life, love was so conditional. People had to love me back or they were moved to a different category.
There was a moment in the kitchen in 1996 after I had read the four gospels of the Bible when my wife asked me a question and I just broke out sobbing. It was strange for me. I was overwhelmed by the unconditional love that Jesus demonstrated in the writings in the Bible. I wrote a song about that experience and played and sang it in church.
Once that door was opened wide, I read many other things that helped me to get a better understanding of this idea of unconditional love. I had never experienced anything like that in my life, but I was for sure and for certain that I wanted it to become me and I it. Wayne Dyer's words put it all into perspective for me and I began to practice loving and living in that way.
Sometimes people seem to think that a miraculous change can come over a person and they are transformed. For me, I have to practice it and get better and better at it. It helps me understand it at a deeper level and it also helps me to grow in it. I can assure you that there have been many times when to give unconditional love would seem foreign because of the person or persons I was focused on; however, it was only myself that would be hurt by withholding it.
The Art of Allowing, or as I first heard it from Abraham via Esther Hicks, the Law of Allowing, is the same thing expressed in a different way. It is more along the lines of not needing to be the authority, or be in charge, but to allow others and to allow events to be what they will.
As I focus on something or someone not to my liking, my judgment takes me away, and as I release the judgment and allow I release them, and I am released as well. Another way to say it is just to respect others enough to make their own choices. It doesn't matter if I would choose them or if I like their choices. What does matter is just to allow them the authority to make them as they choose. Richard Bach said it nicely when he said, "Allow the world to live as it chooses, and allow yourself to live as you choose."
Read Wayne Dyer's quote several times, and particularly the last seven words. I've taken it to heart and put it into practice and it is a game changer. Here it is again: "Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you."
In unconditional love and especially in the Art of Allowing, it is about lining up with your higher self. It's all about feeling good. Your emotions are the indicator of where you are on the path and help to guide us to better decisions. When I release myself to love unconditionally, I feel good. When I allow, I feel good. It is not about tolerating. That is a whole other thing and in tolerating the feeling is not good, it is more like a jaw clenched. Yet, unconditional love and by allowing others to make their own choices, we serve ourselves and others and we know it by how we actually feel.
"The Art Of Allowing: I Am That Which I Am, And I Am Willing To Allow All Others To Be That Which They Are." -- Abraham, Esther Hicks
Spread Some Joy Today--"Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind." -- William Shakespeare
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