"I don't know half of you
half as well as I should like;
and I like less than half of you
half as well as you deserve."
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Due to my wife's illness, we have had a series of nurses and two social workers come by to spend a bit of time with us. My wife, Nancy has ALS and other complications, and I've become her main caretaker since I work from home. My only training for such a task was reading Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom some years back.
Anyway, I bring this up because yesterday a nurse and female social worker came to the house. The nurse was excellent, interested and caring, unlike the social worker. I thought that was strange considering her job. She was bordering on arrogant, and she spent almost no time getting to know either Nancy or myself. Now Nancy can't talk anymore, but she can still write and I saw no significant communication from the social worker to my wife and I found her irritating and assuming when she talked to me.
Rather than go further with the social worker, I just pretty much clammed up and wanted her to leave quickly. That experience caused me to think about developing relationships.
As I've been to many business mixers and the like, I've seen people going around spending as little time with someone as possible to just tell them who they are and what they do and what they might be able to do to help the person they're talking to. There is zero relationship building here. Just like the social worker.
Instead, if we are serious about building any kind of relationship, the first thing we need to do is ask questions and get to know the person in front of us. Save anything about us until it is appropriate, and keep the focus on them. Once we know a reasonable amount about them, we can build on that knowledge to create a relationship.
The social worker is much like any salesperson, or other person who communicates with others for a living. To come in and just have their past experiences and assumptions guiding them is counterproductive to the goal. I've seen this with salespeople for well over 40 years. They somehow think they know what these people are like, carrying assumptions, making suggestions, or trying to guide without understanding who the prospect is, what their goals are, what they want and need and so on. Once this path is taken, it makes it all the more difficult to turn it around.
Take The Time To Get To Know Your Prospects, Your Customers, And Acquaintances. You Can Never Have Enough Friends And Loved Ones.
Spread Some Joy Today--Make no assumptions.
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