"People who fail
focus on what they will have to go through;
people who succeed
focus on what it will feel like at the end."
-- Tony Robbins
Wishes are for fishes is a phrase that I heard a lot when I was a child. I must have said, "I wish. . ." often enough to catch the parental wish killing curriculum. Or maybe they were only trying to teach me to make a choice and go for it with confidence. I think it might have been the former. . .
As I became older, I heard less of I wish, and it changed into "Yes, but. . ." or "I can't. . ." or "It just wasn't meant to be. . ." or the more recent, "It's not in my DNA. . ." Maybe wishes are for fishes after all.
Figuring out what we want is our highest objective, yet whenever we get very involved in how it will or could come to pass, our wires get crossed shorting out the process. Plus we have some pretty sizable obstacles in front of us at any given time, such as, "I don't have enough money," or "I don't have the money to do that," or "I can't figure out how to do that," and thousands more like it. Well, hearing any of those clearly shows that as we get involved in the how of things, we can get those wires crossed.
The best strategy is as Tony Robbins suggests: focus on the end result, not the journey. The journey will always be interesting and full of challenges, and that doesn't mean that it must be painful. It could just as easily be delightful.
The interesting part of this is that the destination isn't even the most important thing. So, it really isn't so much what that is our job, it is how we will feel when we are there that is the key. In other words, it is an emotional journey.
I've talked of the sign on my wall that says, "What is my job. How is God's job." True enough. What is our job, how is not our job. But that is only part of the story. For me it's enough of a reminder to stay out of the how domain and focus on what I can control rather than what I have little or no control over. Plus, it's short.
I suppose that it should say: "What I want is very important, but what I really want in getting anything is the feeling of getting it or having it or being there. What my real job is would then be to imagine how it will feel when I am where I want to be. Then, since how this will happen is not in my ultimate control, I release myself from that crazy responsibility, and give it to God, who is all knowing, and all powerful. I trust in God to be my guide through the billions of nuances, and to what I may not even yet see as the real what. And, whether that what is exactly as I decided or it is morphed into something that I didn't quite see, I know one thing is certain--I know how I will feel when I am there. God, this is what I decided that I want and I am imagining the feeling place of it. I now give the rest of the task to You, thanking You in advance." It just doesn't fit so well on my wall.
Remember that wonderful Bob Dylan song where that awesome chorus begins with, "How does it feel?" That's close. Simply change it to, "This is how it will feel. . .
The Feeling Place IS The Place.
Spread Some Joy Today--by making lots of decisions, and giving them all to God. What a concept! Joy could be one of those decisions, and the feeling place all at the same time!
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