Daily Inspiration 7-14-14

"Conflict cannot survive 

without your participation." 

-- Wayne Dyer 

Though this is the first time I've seen this quote, I've always known it to be true. It is the old tug-o-war game again and when the rope is dropped, the game is over and the one who released it is freed. Though the other may continue to rant and rave and try to make trouble, there can be no trouble without our participation. 

When there is nothing to fight over, there is no fight. If someone wants something and you give it to them without a fight, what power do they have? None.

When someone is bent on harassment, even though you let go, this is the time to allow people like Marshall B Rosenberg to help make sense with, but these are extreme cases in comparison with the daily issues we face. With most of our issues, it is just a matter of not participating in the fight, or struggle, or pity party.


Releasing Resistance Is Our Own Freedom. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by feeling your way through your day. The better you feel, the better your day.

Daily Inspiration 7-13-14

"Be careful how you interpret the world. 

It is like that." 

-- Erich Heller 

There is a movie in my collection that I haven't seen in a while, so I watched it again. Isn't it interesting how you may have seen something several times and each time see something different or differently? That fascinates me.

The movie is New In Town with Harry Connick, Jr. and Renee Zellweger, and it was filmed in one of the coldest places on earth, Winnipeg, Canada. What I saw differently this time began at the start of the movie when Renee's character, Lucy, was in a meeting with her boss and coworkers (all men), and the boss was talking about a manufacturing plant in remote Minnesota that they needed someone to go in and cut the workforce by 50% and turn the plant into a mechanized, robotic plant. Lucy said that she saw the numbers and she thought that the plant should just be shut down and that it was a lost cause. But, the boss wanted her on site to get the work done, so she went.

Then it happened. Lucy met the people who run and work at the plant. She learned about their goals and dreams and how they lived and played and soon she began caring about them. This change brought her to the point that she staked her entire career on making the plant successful and eventually when the company wanted to sell the plant, she arranged to buy it with the employees.

Wars and hate are like this scenario. We are not in touch with actual people and merely see ideologies, strangely different modes of living, different beliefs, maybe different color skin, different climates, dress, languages. The further away we are, the easier it is to not only not care about them but to not even see them as people. We dehumanize them just as Lucy did in the boardroom at the beginning of the film.

I remember that I was told by my manager as I became a manager under him, to not get close to people because it will make it hard, later on, to let them go. The further away we get, the easier that is. That reminds me of another movie I love called Up In The Air, where the lead character goes all over the country firing people at large companies. It is easier to pay someone to come in from the outside than to do it in-house.

I've seen this in jobs that I've had, I see it in the government, the newspaper, TV. If you don't know them, it is easy to not care. I remember when I was a young boy and my grandfather took me up in a Piper Cub airplane over southern California when most of that was farms. The people were so small you couldn't even recognize them as people and the cars were even like dinky little toys.

Yet, the good news is that we don't have to view the world this way, though so many around us may choose to. We get to see it however we want. We can see love. We can care about people, pray for them, lift them up, send loving thoughts whether it is across the street or the other side of the planet.


This All Begins By Loving Ourselves. In That Space, We Automatically Love Others. 

Spread Some Joy Today--Lift two or three people up today. In person, or in Spirit.

Daily Inspiration 7-12-14

"Set your life on fire. 

Seek those who fan your flames." 

-- Rumi 

It is so easy to allow others around you, regardless of their position or relationship with you to hold you in place with them. No one really has any power over us, but we often give it away without being consciously aware of doing this.

I was thinking just the other day how temporary almost everything is. Circumstances change all the time, people come in and out of our lives, what we do in the way of work changes, and all temporary. Each leader in a company leads the company differently, and sometimes not even in a forward direction. Companies get sold, close their doors for good, and more. It is the same on the more positive side where successes are abounding and profits high, morale is perfect, the stars are all aligned. It is still all temporary.

This isn't meant to be a downer, it is just a bit of perspective in how sometimes we expect things to remain the same when nothing ever remains the same even for a few seconds. All that we see is in constant motion, though we may not see that with our eyes.

I'm going the long way around on purpose, but because it is all temporary, there need be no worry about it. Besides, there isn't anything we can do to change another unless they are seeking change and open to suggestion. Hence, worrying about what our parents think, our brothers and sisters, our boss, our spouse, the neighbors, the government, or any others are more than pointless, it is taking our own power away--or rather, we give it away, as it is never taken.

The best thing that we can do for ourselves and for all of those around us near and far is to focus on what we want and to build the energy of that into the life we could dream of. As Rumi said so well, "Set your life on fire." Be selfish in that. Since we cannot change others, being selfish is all you can do to change.

The second part of Rumi's quote will often happen naturally after the decision to set our own lives on fire, and that is to, "Seek those who fan your flames." I made this decision a very long time ago and in the last five years have multiplied that a hundredfold. I am constantly seeking those who fan my flames, help me to see more, understand more, and be more. I have many sources and learn from them all. If we will take the time and attention to reach out, the help will always be there. That old saying, 'when the student is ready, the teacher appears,' is absolutely true and is an amazing blessing.

Everything we need is really already inside of us. We have all the power of choice, decision, and action.


Set Your Life On Fire, And Surround Yourself With Flame Fanners! 

Spread Some Joy Today--There is no greater joy than coming alive!

Daily Inspiration 7-11-14

"I'm having the time of my life!" 

-- Terry Minion 

I went to a dual chamber of commerce mixer tonight and said this quote above to several people who had not seen me in some time and asked how I was doing. Some said, 'you look so happy.' I am. Another mentioned how positive I am and it implied that they were not, but you know, there comes a time when if being upbeat, positive, happy, excited is a desire, one needs to move toward it.

Some don't seem to know how. I understand this totally. I used to be one of them.

Here's a quote that may help put things in a better perspective: "There's no point in burying a hatchet if you're going to put up a marker on the site." -- Sydney Harris.

Some want to forgive, and may even talk about it, but they hold on in so many ways when the only real answer is to let go of it. I alluded to this in yesterday's post.

Having been for many, many years one of those who claimed they wanted to be happy and free, and yet could not let go, I have learned what works for me and continues to work for me to be happy, excited, upbeat, joyous. I think it is the easiest way out of the doldrums and unhappiness. It is far too simple, and many want a much more complicated answer with lots of bullet points. Sorry. It is appreciation.

Yes, appreciation.

I was doing some videos with two clients a couple of days ago. I said that all they need do is to allow themselves to practice so they can get better at it. Each time they get more comfortable with the process and each video then improves over time. It is the same exact thing here. Who would expect someone who just picked up a musical instrument to play Carnegie Hall? After a good deal of practice, that might happen if they also have some talent for the task.

Everyone has a talent for appreciation, so it isn't a matter of talent; however, it is a matter of practice. Begin to purposely find things to appreciate and speak them. At first, they may be spoken in your mind, but they also need to be spoken aloud. Find things to compliment others about. Not insincere compliments, but real ones. If you don't see something worthy of appreciation, move to another subject.

Start with nature. Start with the blue sky, the land, the stars at night, the moon, you name it. Then, things around you. Find things to be thankful for around you. Your comfortable bed, how wonderful the covers feel in the morning, your special pillow, the smell of bacon cooking, the sun coming up in the morning. Then expand on that, by finding things to compliment yourself about. Stand naked in the mirror and thank God or the Universe for such a wonderful and useful appliance as this great body. Be thankful for your capacity, your wisdom, your voice, your skills, your vision.

After a time, perhaps months, or even years, you will find yourself constantly finding things to appreciate. I think that this is what the apostle Paul meant when he said to pray without ceasing.

At each level, your joy will increase in quantity and quality. I find now that I am in joy almost all the time. This is how I can say that I am having the time of my life. It is because I am and the joy is the manifestation of that.

If you want to have this, it is simple. Just practice it and expand it and keep on with it and you will improve every single day. Never fear--there is no end to the potential for more joy.


There Is A Payoff To Feeling Bad, And That Is Why There Is A Lot Of It, But The Payoff For Feeling Good Is Off The Chart In Comparison. 

Spread Some Joy Today--It is not up to God or anyone else. It is solely up to you. Choose joy.

Daily Inspiration 7-10-14

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free 

and discover that the prisoner was you." 

-- Lewis B Smedes 

I was talking briefly with someone today about forgiveness. Through much trial and error, I have learned to forgive and think that I have learned what forgiveness really is. So, here is what I learned that it is: our own thinking and judgment about past events that can never be changed, although we often want them to change, yet we also know that we can never change the past in the present, so the contrast of that creates the emotion of resentment, whereby we hold the other in judgment for their perceived wrongdoings to us.

Most people think that to forgive means to reconcile our feelings about that person and accumulated events associated with them. It can't be done. Usually, those who say they've done this are blowing smoke and acting as if they have forgiven the other when that isn't possible either.

First of all, it isn't about them. It is always about us. It is we who are thinking the thoughts that are causing us to not feel good. It is not them creating the thoughts. It is ourselves alone. No one can make us feel anything. Our own feelings are always a contrast between our real selves and our own ego.

The best description of what it is like to forgive I've ever come up with is to pretend that we are having a tug-o-war with ourselves, equally matched, and impossible to win. This leaves only one solution: to let go of the rope completely, and after letting go of the rope, to find the love that is always there. The way to find the love is to create a list of appreciation. Through appreciation, you can become grateful for the whole event, and then it is forever changed.

No one can do anything to us. Whenever we believe that our feelings are created from the outside, we will experience unhappiness. Our feelings are created from our own thoughts and never from the outside. Since no one can make us feel anything except ourselves, the other thing to grab hold of is that we are always in charge of how we feel and not anyone else regardless of the relationship.

When we let go of the rope and find things to appreciate, we have nothing but love and when there is love for the other, there is nothing to forgive. When we withhold love from the other, we build a wall between us.

Whatever you might be holding onto, feeling resentment about, feeling unhappy about, or even angry about is only ourselves in a tug-o-war with ourselves. By letting go of that rope, all of that goes away immediately.


Today, Right Here, And Right Now Is The Best Time To Let Go And Turn It To Love Through Appreciation. 

Spread Some Joy Today--Make a list today of everything you appreciate. Feel your love grow as you make your list.

Daily Inspiration 7-9-14

"Why do bad things 

happen to good people?"

-- Age old question 

Just for fun, we might want to flip this question around a bit: Why do good things happen to bad people? When put that way, it helps put things into at least a little perspective.

The bigger question is, 'who says bad?' At the same time, 'who says good?' Frankly, it is someone making that up anyway.

I think there are only actions and results and all of that is neutral. It is only when we label things, such as good or bad, that we add a moral code to the actions and create all sorts of emotions about it. It simply comes down to how we choose to think about something, or what we believe or have come to believe, and even a belief is just a thought we keep thinking over and over again.

There are plenty of benefits that come from events--even those that we might construe as bad. Who knows how it happens, or why it happens? A lot of people want to know why, but it really isn't their affair to know.

I have many examples in my own life of things that seemed bad that were really good. But, of course, I am still judging it, and it is better to say there were benefits. For years I lay down at night in my bedroom and seeing the ceiling, hated the sprayed popcorn treatment throughout the house. Every time I looked at it, I wanted it gone. Then came the fire. The fire was in one room but blackened the whole house. As a result of the repairs, I got rid of the popcorn ceiling.

There were several times I might have been killed or injured in a vehicle and split seconds, perhaps even thousandths of a second changed the outcome. There were times when I lost my job and suddenly there were many open doors I had not seen before.

It really comes down to, rather than the event, it is how we choose to think about it that makes all the difference. Some people may get a diagnosis that brings them to life rather than death. Some may have an event that in certain circumstances would be devastating that becomes their greatest blessing. Some have a business fail to lead them to a better choice, others lose a long time job and find their entrepreneurial spirit reborn. Some find divorce was the best thing that ever happened to them.

It isn't the event, but how we choose to think of it, label it, create beliefs around it that speaks to us of what kind of event it is. One might choose depression, despair, and others may choose joy or gratitude. We each have full control of the choice.


Let Us Be Conscious Of Our Own Power To Choose. 

Spread Some Joy Today--You're on a delightful journey. Enjoy the ride.

Daily Inspiration 7-8-14

"Yesterday I was clever, 

so I wanted to change the world. 

Today I am wise, 

so I am changing myself." 

-- Rumi 

Yesterday, I got to see a wonderful friend who lives far away for a few hours. We have both been associated with the car business for a lot of years, and I mentioned that when I first got into the business and saw what it was like and the reputation that it had, I made it my personal goal to do what I could to change that.

Everything that I did to change it for the better went unnoticed by the car business. Though it may have been what some call a worthy cause, I found it to be an impossible dream.

It was only after I dropped my clever ideals of changing the world and focused on changing myself that I decided that I could have what I originally wanted, except on a much smaller scale. I could change me and affect those near me, and that is what I did the best job I could at, and feel in looking back over 40 years as having achieved success in this.

Now, I don't try to change anyone. That isn't my job. My job is to change me when that is needed. I can succeed at that. This doesn't mean that I don't have an influence on others. I do. I have. I will. That influence comes from my own changes and my own growth. I teach what I know and what I want to learn. The rest is up to them.


Regardless Of The Size Of The Audience, Our Real Power Is Leading By Example. 

Spread Some Joy Today--by letting your heart lead your brain.

Daily Inspiration 7-7-14

"'Tis not the meat, 

but 'tis the appetite 

makes eating a delight." 

-- John Suckling, Sonnet, c1638 

In January of this year, I had the distinct privilege to see The Eagles, who next to The Beatles was my favorite musical group when I was young, and now that I am not so young. The tour they were on was called The History of The Eagles, matching a DVD set they published, which I own. I don't know why I waited to watch it until this weekend, but I was in joy all the way through it. Great music, and a great story of how they came to be and all the adventures they had.

Joe Walsh of The Eagles was talking on the DVD and I had to write down what he said because it spoke to me. Here is what he said reflecting on the travels of his life, participation in and travels of the band over time:

"There's a philosopher who says, 'As you live your life, it appears to be anarchy and chaos and random events--non-related events smashing into each other and causing this situation, and then this happens, and it's overwhelming, and it just looks like...what in the world is going on? And later when you look back at it, it looks like a finely crafted novel, but at the time it don't, and a lot of The Eagles story is like that."

I thought he was referring to many of us, if not most of us. As we are going through situations, especially challenging or tough ones, it is hard if not downright impossible to see the whole picture, but down the road, we can look back and see how all those pieces fit into a mosaic that was perfectly filled, looking like that finely crafted novel.

Then, I thought that much of my life was that way. Most in fact. I didn't have a clue a good deal of the time and now looking back, I have such a different view and things I might have done that I might typically regret, I find joy in instead.

What I would add to that wonderful philosophical view of a life traveled, is that with the awareness that I have now, I would not find the pain that I went through then. Wouldn't it be interesting to know for certain that everything will work out perfectly all the time throughout our lives? Would that change anything about how you might live your life? I know that this awareness has certainly changed mine and how I see what is going on here and now and with confidence believing it is all working out just as I planned it. What a difference in the travel!


It Is Perfect. 

Spread Some Joy Today--Find joy in your own perfection today.

Daily Inspiration 7-6-14

"Anyone who is 

at peace with himself 

is at peace with others." 

-- Georges Devereux, the character 

from the movie, Jimmy P. 

Lately, I am finding inspired messages that jump out at me when I hear them or see them, and many have come from movies that I have seen in the last few days. They've given me enough for many inspirational messages.

The one above was spoken softly in the movie, but he may have well been screaming it considering how it immediately got my attention. I thought, 'Wow! That is so powerful, simple and so true.

Think about it. Conflict with others is an indication of conflict within ourselves. Anger with others is an indication of anger within and of ourselves. In fact, it is our own thinking that creates these emotions, to begin with, not stimuli from somewhere else.

That means that when we are at peace with ourselves, happy with ourselves, respecting and loving ourselves, it is not really possible to be otherwise to others.


It All Begins And Ends With Ourselves. 

Spread Some Joy Today--with joy in your heart, it cannot be helped.

Daily Inspiration 7-5-14

"This is a glorious time 

for me to be on this earth!" 

-- Quote from a Well Being Card Deck 

by Esther & Jerry Hicks 

Here I am today nearing my 65th birthday and I am more inspired than I think I have ever been in my entire life. How can that be? It isn't what I thought I was taught about getting older. In fact, it is the opposite.

When I say inspired, I don't mean that I have a new goal to do something, or to achieve something. I am inspired in the sheer joy and gratitude I feel for virtually everything in and around me.

A reader for a few years sent me a very kind note that had this line in it: "I want to thank you for the time you take and the thoughts and quotes you share that help everyone who read them be better people and enjoy life more. Your messages are clear: it is all about attitude, gratitude and choices (all of which are in our control.)" Since that is what I have learned that has led me to where I am now, that was as accurate an assessment as I could imagine.

I get so grateful now for such common things, and I'm continually amazed at how I can find even more to be grateful for. For example, I put a short note on my facebook page about how grateful I am for the Internet. The things I have had access to that I never had before the Internet, and the millions of things that people share and I sample the tiniest bit of and still find crazy amounts of information, guidance, inspiration and the list goes on. The video I shared yesterday is a perfect example and then I went and watched more from the person I had only learned of yesterday in that first video, which by the way, was suggested to me by an email from a website I subscribe to that I found on someones facebook post a year or two ago.

In addition to those things about the Internet, I make a living on the Internet and employ others in that as well. So, that's a big deal, but even if it weren't for that, I've learned how to cook certain things, fix things, learned not to try to fix things, seen very helpful product comparisons by actual users to help me buy a great video camera, learned how important audio is in the hundreds of videos we do for our clients, and I could easily go on for ten or fifteen pages or more of all the ways in which the Internet, Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and a hundred other services has given me great benefit, joy, inspiration, and help.

As I am more grateful every day, and seeing no end to the depth of it, I find ever more things to be grateful for. This changes my attitude to be more positive every single hour of every day. It leads me to make joyous choices. If there were only one single thing that I would recommend to put into practice to change everything else in your life, it would be to begin a practice of thankfulness and gratitude for every situation, every circumstance, every relationship, every moment of your life.


There Is Zero Doubt That It Has Changed Me Forever. 

Spread Some Joy Today--Exactly. You do that with your joy. Simple.

Daily Inspiration 7-4-14

"At the core of all anger 

is a need that is not being fulfilled." 

 -- Marshall B Rosenberg 

Yesterday I watched one of the most powerful videos I've ever seen. It is powerful to me because it speaks of how to find peace in the world, in our relationships, in our work environments and more. It is not the least bit typical. I would have to call it 'outside the box.' Below is the video for your own viewing. It has been around for a while, but it is timeless. Then, I'll leave you with a couple more great quotes from this wonderful man.

"Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need." -- Marshall B Rosenberg "

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently, those people deserve to be punished." -- Marshall B Rosenberg


"Analyses Of Others Are Actually Expressions Of Our Own Needs And Values." -- Marshall B Rosenberg 

Spread Some Joy Today--Celebrate what you want to see more of.

Daily Inspiration 7-3-14

"You see, what I think it is, is, 

that I think I'm more comfortable

with being disappointed. 

I think I'm angry with you 
for trying to take that away." 

-- Kate Walker character in the movie, 

Last Chance Harvey

Is that a telling statement or what? Have any of you ever felt that way, even though you may have never had the courage to actually say it? We do have a tendency to develop and then stay within our own comfort zones when it comes to relationships, work, you name it.

I love movies that move me and speak to me and those are the ones I buy so I can watch them many times. Last Chance Harvey is one of those so-called sleeper films that I found that I just had to own.

Every time I watch it, I learn something new and it is a delightful piece of not so uncommon human interaction involving divorce, children, a declining interest in work, and if all of that weren't enough, Harvey loses his job while he's in London, yet at the same time, he finds inspiration in a woman he meets in the airport and makes a conscious decision to go with the flow until his life has not only broken out of his comfort zone but is taken to new and unknown places.

I can so relate to where his head must have been. The best part of the movie is how he finds his life that he somehow stepped out of some time ago. Now, he is renewed and real. Before it was all fake, creating images, being someone he isn't and much more.

The other thing that really stands out for me in this movie is that he makes a conscious decision to go with the flow. He feels a spark and he follows that feeling. He drops his routine or common response to situations and decides to just follow his feelings rather than his head. What great advice that can be for all of us from time to time.

If you haven't seen it, I invite you to rent it and see what you will. If not for the movie itself, for the awesome dialog and life messages it contains.

Letting go of the oars and allowing yourself to go with the flow is very powerful.


Who Knows Where You'll End Up? 

Spread Some Joy Today--It's never too late. There are no last chances. It is now. Then now again, then now again.

Daily Inspiration 7-2-14

"When you judge another, 

you do not define them, 

you define yourself." 

-- Wayne Dyer 

I was thinking about self-esteem, and when I saw this quote from my long-time mentor, Wayne Dyer, it seemed so appropriate for that topic. For example, if we are judging someone else--and the word judging generally is construed as finding fault and then punishing by judgment rule--then what does that say about our self-esteem? I think that it says we have very little.

Seth Godin recently wrote, "It's called self-esteem. What other people think of you is called "other-people esteem." That's a different thing altogether." He goes on to say, "If it's better to think well of yourself, then by all means, go ahead. No need to wait for us to do it for you. Without a doubt, uncaring people can tear you down and make this more difficult, but at some point, you can make a choice."

I think that either way we make a choice. We either make a choice to like, appreciate, love ourselves for who and what we are, appreciating our path and decisions, or we make a choice to beat ourselves up, lament about all the wrongs we ever did, all the people who did things to us, of which we cannot possibly be held responsible, and so on.

You can probably see that in other people very easily and which choices they are making. It always seems easier to see it in others, yet it is good to examine it personally too.

I love that phrase, "other-people esteem." So often we may be looking for others to give us our esteem when that is clearly not their job. Other people can appreciate us, like us, love us, but what value would that really be if we didn't already have our own appreciation and love for ourselves?


Here's A Better Question: What Is Right With Me? How Have I Provided Value And Benefit To Others? 

Spread Some Joy Today--Lighten up! Have some fun!

Daily Inspiration 7-1-14

"Change is not a destination, 

just as hope is not a strategy." 

-- Rudy Giuliani 

Wow. What a great quote. It seems to me that this describes the political process, or at least what seems like the majority's idea of a new life and moving away from the reality of what is.

But, I was thinking of this in a different way as I was thinking about people in new jobs that they are wanting to do well in, people looking for a job, and generally moving through life. I guess I have plenty of experience in all of that and know others going through it too.

Let's start with the first part of the quote: "Change is not a destination." Although we might think many times that change is the destination, it is more often than not, something that refuses to be managed. I think the best we could say about change is that it is a given. Physical things in us and around us are in a constant flux of change. Our thoughts too are constantly in motion and thereby constantly in a state of change.

Change may be the sea we sail on, but it is neither the port we left or the potential port we eventually arrive in. How we set our sail on this sea of change, meaning our 'attitude' toward it and in response to it, has everything to do with the destination.

The second part: "hope is not a strategy." I know a lot of people who use hope as a strategy, and the sea of change buffets them about as if they were crossing the Pacific ocean in a dingy during a storm. We might think of hope as wishing, which is not a strategy either. For results to come on purpose with purpose, we need a strategy, decisions, plans, goals, design, activity, seeking, learning.

In the commercial truck world which I play around with some, I see a lot of dealers without a strategy for everything from inventory to managing the department. That's okay. They can do it as they desire, and they will get the results they get, but what if they had a strategy? What could they do then?

The same is true for all of us in everything that we do. We can hope to have a better relationship, or we can have a strategy. We can hope to do better financially, or we can develop or borrow a strategy. We can hope to grow our business or we can employ a strategy and make better decisions. We can hope our body was thinner, or we can adopt a strategy that has proven results.

Whatever we want, and whatever we want to be good at, better at, excel in, we need to remember that there are two ways: hope or strategy, and knowing the difference is critical. Then with that strategy, sailing on the sea of change will be with a gentle breeze.


Live On Purpose With Purpose. 

Spread Some Joy Today--This is a glorious time to be on this earth! Loving every day of it makes it even more glorious.