"It's so easy to make a mistake
in language if you aren't careful.
What if you meant to say,
'What's troubling you?'
and what you actually said was,
'What's wrong with you?'"
-- Jim Rohn
[Classic post from 6-10-14]
I was thinking more about yesterday's post about positive news and negative news and how the negative stands out so much, though it is a tiny fraction of the positive things going on in the world.
This caused me to think about how often we communicate with each other and the questions that we ask and how that has a tendency to either bring up something negative or kill the communication entirely.
An extremely common question is, 'how are you?' or 'how are you today?' If it is Monday, they might say, 'did you have a good weekend?' or 'what did you do for the weekend?' and if it is Friday, they might inquire what plans you might have for the weekend and such. All of these are lame questions in my mind, and they provoke lame answers that say pretty much nothing.
So, how about changing some of that just for a few days and see what happens and pay particular attention to how different people's responses are, and what you find out about them that you never would have found.
After you ask these newer questions, make sure and listen well. We've sort of trained ourselves to not listen or pay much attention to the answers to the 'lame' questions. Here are some good questions to ask people:
What awesome (or fun, interesting, joyful, exciting, etc) thing is going on in your life?
What is going really well for you right now?
What did you learn recently that is worth sharing?
What is your favorite movie?
Ask something about what they are wearing, or about their hair. This is especially good after a compliment.
Speaking of compliments. This has become such a habit with me and it not only spreads joy to others, it brings me joy as well. I find something to compliment everyone on and quite often I speak it aloud to them. It is always sincere and I am always looking for something to compliment others on.
OK, now write out some of your own questions. The best thing is to elicit a positive, perhaps even uplifting response from the other person. You may see joy spill out of them, or enthusiasm, and most likely, they would love to tell you about whatever it is.
What A Difference You Will Make!
Spread Some Joy Today--by bringing out the best in others.
Great Article Terry. You always have such great insight and “food for thought” things to say. Thanks for all you do to contribute to our community.
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